Rest

Lord, I’m so tired. My body is weary. My mind is weary. My SOUL is weary. This burden I carry is getting heavy. Some days I feel full of energy, ready to move forward in what You’ve called me to do. Other days, like today, I wonder if it’s more than I can bear. I keep picking it up, knowing You are with me. I put on a smile and stumble forward, doing my best to keep my eyes on You even though I have no idea where You are taking me. But sometimes I look around. I see cliffs and obstacles, thorns and people who want to hurt me, who don’t have my best interest at heart, or just don’t care that they are getting in the way and making it difficult to see and follow You. Some days I get distracted by the pretty things around me and I wander off the path toward them, and realize I’m lost. I cry out in fear and You immediately show up and come get me. Oh, how I love You for that.

I trudge forward and then the guilt kicks in. I follow You for a while, full of shame that I let myself get so easily distracted. I shrink from You because I’m embarrassed and feel unworthy. But You see me, even though I try to hide. You come to me again, reminding me that You did not come get me to condemn me, but to save me. You wrap me in your love once again, and I fall into Your arms. Oh, how I love You for that.

Lord, will it always be this hard? Will I continue to fail You, get distracted, scared, and wander off? Will I always be this tired? I am reminded of two things, even as I ask You this:

• Christianity is a battlefield, not a playground. You have given me my instructions in Ephesians 5. Before I ever pick up my burden, I have to put my armor on. It’s not a question of whether the enemy will attack. It’s a question of when he will attack.

• You have always told me the truth, because you ARE the Truth. I will always struggle. I am reminded of Your words: “In this world, you WILL have tribulation; but cheer up! I have overcome the world!”

Yes, it’s always going to be hard. We are on a journey to get home, but we are not there yet. Until we make it, we will face enemy attacks. But we follow the greatest Leader, the One who gave His very life to make sure we get there. He is worthy of our trust, love and devotion. He promises that He will never leave us or forsake us. Not EVER. And it is that promise that energizes me, fills me with peace, and reminds me that my Father is the One who loves me most of all. I will follow Him anywhere, for with Him, I am always safe. With Him, there is rest.

So I take a deep breath and pick up my burden. I fix my eyes on my Savior and I start walking, knowing that where He is, is the only place I ever want to be.

“Come unto me, all you who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest.”

~Jesus

My oldest sons enjoying a beautiful Oklahoma sunset