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  • Rebecca


Tragedy: 1. an event causing great suffering, destruction, and distress, such as a serious accident, crime, or natural catastrophe. How about multiple deaths? Does that qualify? 2. A play dealing with tragic events and having an unhappy ending, especially one concerning the downfall of the main character. Am I going to have an unhappy ending? Is this my downfall?

Oh, the well-wishers. When one has a death in the family, you hear so many people saying either the same things or some really weird things.

“I’m so sorry for your loss.” Me too.

“You’re in my prayers.” Really? How often?

“They’re not suffering anymore.” I wish I was with them. This is more than I can bear.

But multiple deaths? Deaths that start slowly and then increasingly come faster and faster until it feels like a yearly dark holiday that you become accustomed to preparing for? People just say weird stuff.

“What a tragedy.” What does that mean exactly?

“It’s like you have a black cloud over your head.” Ummmm……okay.

“What happened?” They died. One at a time, and now they’re all gone.

Don’t get me wrong. I know people mean well and simply don’t have words to say when something as strange as this happens. I mean, I lost my entire family, four of them in the last 5 years. That is shocking, to say the least. I don’t even know what to say about it myself sometimes. Maybe tragic is the best way to describe it. It certainly has caused great suffering, destruction, and distress. But an unhappy ending and my downfall?

My mom was a power woman. You know, the kind of mom that gave you about a five second window to cry when you got hurt and then you washed your face and got on with your day. Who knew that by not giving me time for self-pity, she was preparing me for suffering I never in a million years thought I would endure. When I was going through my divorce, she sent me a card in the mail which is now my most treasured possession. It read:

My Dearest Becky,

How quickly time passes. If I had my way, I’d keep you safe within my arms while the storm of life crashes around you. I won’t always be with you, my precious daughter, but words I can give. When the winds of hope are dying down, these words will live.

Above all else, know God’s the only one who’ll never leave you, the one you can depend on, consistently! The trials you are going thru right now will be over soon, so remember how much you are loved!!


When everyone leaves, you lose not just the people you love, but your identity. You lose your security. You lose your support system. My precious Mama pointed me to Jesus years ago, reminding me who I am – a child of the Most High God, who would never leave me. Because of her, that feeling of loss is just that – a feeling. My truth is grounded in what Jesus has done for me, for my family. He conquered death and because of that, I grieve, but not as those who have no hope. I KNOW I will see my family again one day.

Is losing everyone a tragedy? Without a doubt. Is it my downfall, the end of my story? Absolutely not.

“Perfect submission, all is at rest I in my Savior am happy and blessed Watching and waiting, looking above Filled with His goodness, lost in His love

This is my story, this is my song Praising my Savior all the day long."

Yes, Mama. Your words still live.

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